Saturday, December 31, 2011

standing in the way of the light

i've wanted to do this project for years--whatever year it was when i first started taking pictures of shadows.  it's been a decade now? or more? of shadow portraits? and i wrote something way back in 2006 when i first started blogging--a poem about shadows.  i suppose i'll have to find it so i can put it here.  but later.  now, i am blogging.  i am starting again, again, at the beginning of another end of another new year.  i suppose i should be grateful--and i am.  i am actually recommitting to learning to love being alive.  i do love it, of course.  i love breathing.  i love the deep in and out of inhale and exhale.  i love the waking up to see where the light is coming from and the rich joy of feeling the air caress the insides and the outsides of my body container as i move through it--cut through it--like something slicing open the whole deep breath of the glorious expanse of breathing beings.  i love noticing all i can notice--finding and celebrating the deep beauty of the juxtaposition of time and color and balance and possibility--and then knowing that even in what i am seeing there is so much more that i can not see--that i am not seeing.  i love dashes and dots.  i use them to stitch the words together--to stitch the worlds together--such that the words can, in some way, sew the imagery of what i am imagining as somewhere in time.  it is now, of course.  now, at 2:35 am on the last day of 2011 in the comfort of the cave i have created in the jinglefruit studios of this here and now.  ford street studios here and now.  live work spaces in time and possibility, and again, the air is charged with creativity and buzz and hummmmmmmm and i am tooooooooo far awake to let go into dreams.  there is just this one day left in this whole expanse of unfolded year.  it is a grand red carpet of what can not be walked in anything but old shoes.  old shoes and stories and time and travel and possibility and improbability and what happened? exactly? in the what of it all? and the when of it? and the why? i am here now.  i am here in this little room under the stairs staring at all that is left of what can still cast a shadow.  i can still cast a shadow.  and a shadow is the most important thing a wendy can sew back on the end of any peter pan.  and this shadow--it is the thing that gets long and lean ahead of a person--travelling tall and lanky on the road ahead.  standing in the way of the light, the longshadow can fortell the coming of what will come.  and it can, in it's incredible way, accumulate the knowing of what can not otherwise be known.  and it is here, in this casting of shadows that my magick lives.  and that of course, is very different than the casting of spells. 

i live to stand in the way of the light--and to love that thing that still accompanies me as friend and contains me as body.  shadow, breath, light, being.  ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  here we go!

No comments:

Post a Comment